Maternity Confessions: A Private Matter

Okay- I feel that I have to give everyone a fair bit of warning for this blog post.  This is really a bit more of a confessional on a topic I don’t feel a lot of maternity books cover: libido, spontaneous orgasms and “maintenance.”  A lot of different maternity forums and sites cover this topic but gloss over the details.  I find it strange that in the aftermath of “Sex and the City,” which opened up almost every sexual experience as dinner-friendly table topic, the sexual experiences of pregnant women still remain somewhat closeted and perhaps even taboo.

Around the first trimester, my libido dipped into an all-time low.  In fact, it was like a Liz-Lemon-prude-fest.  Granted I was also going through a personal crisis that could have contributed to this “shut down” aside from the crazy hormonal fluctuations.  Around week 12 however, my libido suddenly shut up with no warning- like a light switch turned on overnight, and suddenly I can’t get it out of my mind.  But it was also possibly the most insecure I’ve ever been with my body- I still didn’t have the baby belly but looked bloated all the time, the hormonal acne started coming and then the increased levels of flatulence.  So you can imagine the conundrum of reconciling that pent-up sexual energy with the feeling of being utterly unsexy.

With the rise of the libido, there came the strange sex dreams.  I would wake up sweaty and elated, my hands nowhere near my hoo-hah yet I had spontaneous, EXPLOSIVE orgasms that would leave me breathless.  Now, THAT was one way to get the pregnancy glow.  My obstetrician told me to enjoy this second trimester high for as long as I can since it apparently disappears around the third trimester.  I guess cankles and low-libido come hand in hand.

Two things I learned very early on was that once I became pregnant my body started producing and circulating 50% more blood, and that crazy hormones affect the rate of hair growth- EVERYWHERE.  So with these two fun facts- getting “pool-ready” became no trip to the sundae shop.  Not that I thought bikini waxes were any fun before, but the experience was 100x worse while you’re expecting.  The blood vessels in that area are more sensitive- and in the middle of my session I was ready to give up the baby if it meant getting out of there.

Now at week 25, while I can still see a sliver of my toes, I have to lift my belly see my business (you know, just to make sure it’s still there).  I theorize that one of the reasons the belly blocks that Southern landscape is so that women won’t get too fixated on the inevitable damage that will happen down there.

So there you go, my two-pence on this “private” matter.